... and they lived happily ever after

Monday, October 17, 2011

A long time ago, I read the essay "Partners and Marriage" from Kent Nerburn's Letters to My Son. It talks about how immobilizing the fear of marriage can be, with the norm seeming to be couples who at best tolerate each other and the rarity those who, even in old age, seem to glow in each others' presence. How do those rare few do it? What keeps their love strong through all the years of routine, sameness and inevitable petty little irritations?

"The central secret seems to be in choosing well," says Nerburn. "The truly lucky people are the ones who manage to become long-time friends before they realize they are attracted to each other. They get to know each other's laughs, passions, sadness, and fears. They see each other at their worst and at their best."

I see the truth in Nerburn's words when I think of my friends Kathryn and Adam, who exchanged vows a few weeks ago in an intimate ceremony on the beach in the Outer Banks.
I witnessed Kathryn and Adam go from being the best of friends to husband and wife, and it has been one of the most beautiful things I've seen in my life. People scoff at the idea of soulmates, but there's no better way to describe them. When I see them throwing a football around in Battery Park, swigging beers at the beer garden, dancing up a storm anywhere there's some semblance of a dance floor, and unabashedly belting out Against All Odds in karaoke, I think about how wonderful it must be to share your life so completely with the person that you love.

As much I like to explore seeing the happily ever after in lives that don't subscribe to the norm, I still do love a beautiful fairy tale ending. Kathryn and Adam's love is something to aspire to and one I've felt truly fortunate to witness.

I am so happy for you, Kathryn and Adam! I look forward to sharing many more wonderful moments with you both as the years go by.

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